Hey there!
Welcome to the tiny place in cyberspace of a girl who blogs her blues away. And well, maybe out of boredom as well.
How on earth you found your way here may be intentional or completely random, but you're welcome to look around either way.
The navigations are on the ribbon. Just click on them to get around the page. Please do leave me a message on my tagboard so that I know you dropped by.
Thanks and enjoy! :)
the wallflower
Wallflower (wall·flow·er) Definition
One who does not participate in the activity at a social event because of shyness or unpopularity.
A lady at a ball, who, either from choice, or because not asked to dance, remains a spectator.
As the term suggests, I shy away from a lot of things, parties and balls/dances being top 1 and top 2 respectively.
I'm a small girl you won't probably notice in a crowd. On top of that, I'm a natural klutz, the holder of a seemingly record-breaking list of misplaced items, an amateur anything, and an over-thinker who oftentimes lets her head rule her heart.
I'm still normal okay, don't get me wrong. haha... I'm a kid at heart who is easily pleased with simple things. One who carries a pinch of optimism, a tinkling of charm, and loads of laughs. I'm still trying to find my place in this vast expanse, but I'm having tons of fun along the way.
I'll find that light someday, I'm sure! But for now, I'll slow things down a bit and enjoy the ride.
My life's not the most spectacular thing that you'll come across, but it's worth a look :)
my a-z
A aqua B baking, books, broadway C Canon 50D D dancing, David Archuleta, DLSU, doodles, DS Lite E E71, elephants F fencing (foil), Filipina, Freeway G GLEEk H HTML/CSS I - J June 10 K Kamiseta, Kostka QC L Latter-day Saint (Mormon), lime green M Malteasers N Nancy Drew, necklaces O OC P pasta, piano, Psychology major Q Quezon City R - S See's Rum Nougat, shrimp, singing (theatrical amateur), single, sour candies, spicy food, Stitch T taekwondo black belt, traveling, Trumpets Playshopper, turtles U - V - W Walt Disney, Warheads, Wicked (the musical), white thick-rimmed glasses X
Ohmygosh I can go *sings* "on and on and on and on" about how much I absolutely love Glee!♥ But I'll keep my fandom to myself, for now maybe. haha! The Gleekiness is fairly recent, but I caught on so quickly! *pauses blogging because a Glee song came on Star World*
I'm not up to the point that I eat, breathe, and dress Glee (well maybe not just yet), but I'm hooked on it enough to do this:
Watcha say? Do they look alike? haha... My avatar's gonna stay that way for a looong time. ♥
What I like most about Glee is that the songs they used are arranged in a way that isn't forgettable and will give you a better or ever a new appreciation of the original versions of the songs. Glee's a real stand-out from all the other series I've watched. It doesn't stand-out just because the cast sings a song in every episode, it's also that it's real, so real that many situations throughout the series truly are experienced by a lot of people, especially by students trying to break-out of their shells. The characters, the struggles they face, and especially the friendships that get them through those struggles - everything real. It's a show anyone can relate to and find humor in as well.
And! Lea Michele's vocals are A++ AMAZING! She can sing anything! Her broadway songs are still the ones I love most though, especially Don't Rain on My Parade. I have 2 favorite Leas now, Lea Salonga-Chien and Lea Michele. Both great singers, both broadway babies, both inspirations for me to keep singing.
Whew enough of that for now! I still have a paper to finish. Last!
gleek.
If you don't watch Glee, then you should. Right now. haha! Okay that's enough, I'm gonna work on my paper for real now. Bye!
I was looking through my old journal and I found this. I was brought to tears again, just like the first time I read it.
***
Dear Mommy,
I am in Heaven now, meeting my creator always. He loves me abundantly. I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existence. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared. I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming "Mommy, Mommy, help me please. Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.
I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.
Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.
I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to God and He blessed me. He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."
I don't know what abortion is. I guess that's the name of the monster who hated my landing on earth as an innocent lovely kid. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die.
But, mummy, I am totally happy here in God's abode and I've plenty of friends to play with. Only cheerful faces are visible here. I shall wait here for you to join us. Dear Mommy, God had told me that no SELFISH people should be here! I have no doubt that my mommy was very nice and I will recommend to God for you and loving Daddy. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.
Love, Your Baby Girl
***
I've always felt strongly against abortion. It's sad that people actually deprive those unborn kids of the chance to live. Personally, I wouldn't define abortion as just "expulsion of the human fetus prematurely" - that's too much. Simply put it, it's killing. Murder.
"One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak." (via Tumblr).
To the mothers and the fathers out there, be prepared for a baby and all the responsibilities that come along with being a parent. Kids are blessings, please love them. Be grateful you're able to have kids as there are many couples out there who can't have kids of their own. Do not allow abortion. Do not allow, literally, a life to be wasted.
Aloha once again! I'm sorry, I broke my assurance of regular updates (refer to previous entry). I'm not promising anything this time. I had no idea how busy this term's going to be! We'll be making our own psychological tests pretty soon. We've already decided on a construct, so we'll see how it goes from there.
A lot's been going on since my last entry. My, how time flies! It hasn't been all fun though. I've had my share of worries, doubts, fears, and the like these past few months - finding myself in highly complicated situations (trust me when I say highly) that I never thought I'd land in.
In every mishap, however, I'm sure we'd all agree that what is most important is we find ways to overcome these trials and learn from them.
Lesson #1: There really is no use crying over spilled milk.
I was watching Lion King and was struck when Timon and Pumbaa told a young Simba this statement: "Kid, you gotta learn to put your past behind 'ya." An older Simba tells Nala the same thing later on in the movie and adds: "Sometimes bad things happen and there's nothing we can do about it, so why worry?".
True enough. Why worry about something you can't change anyway? It's done. Looking back at the damage will only make you feel, well, miserable.
Lesson #2: Never regret something done with the intention to help.
I know the feeling of helplessness that comes with the realization that there's absolutely nothing you can for someone who doesn't want to change. To add insult to injury, the person knows that what he's doing is wrong and knows what is supposed to be done, but just won't do anything about it. But if you think about it, was it really a waste?
I say nay. At first I felt it was all a huge ginormous mistake to try changing this one very wrong thing about a friend of mine. My time, efforts, and sacrifices were like paper going down a shredder, but what about the positive feelings I got along the way? I can't say that those were wastes. I can't rid myself of the truth that my friend trusted me enough to tell me what's going on, and it isn't something easy to say. I won't be able to just erase the joy that I felt that I was starting to make a difference in someone's life. My friend actually listened to me, at least for sometime. And most of all, I'll forever have a burning testimony on prayer, which brings me to:
Lesson #3: PRAYER - the simple solution to all of life's miseries.
When my heartaches were too much to bear, I prayed. When I didn't know what to do, I prayed. And you know what? He's listening. I knew and felt it that moment. Prayer does wonders, you have my word. You should try it, it heals :)
Though in the end my friend chose not to listen, I have no regrets because I feel good about a lot of things now. Come to think of it, everything I've been through was more of a blessing than a nuisance. It's my friend's problem anyway, not mine. I did my part, he should do his. What he chooses is not in my hands anymore. Again, I quote Timon and Pumbaa: "Hakuna Matata! It means no worries for the rest of your days. It's our-problem free philosophy". So, Hakuna Matata!
After submitting your message, click "Tag" again to see your message on the board.
want to ask me something?
I'll give you honest answers, I promise! You don't need a formspring account to ask me something. My answers to your questions will be posted on my formspring profile.