from me to you
Hey there!
Welcome to the tiny place in cyberspace of a girl who blogs her blues away. And well, maybe out of boredom as well.
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the wallflower
Wallflower (wall·flow·er)
Definition
- One who does not participate in the activity at a social event because of shyness or unpopularity.
- A lady at a ball, who, either from choice, or because not asked to dance, remains a spectator.
As the term suggests, I shy away from a lot of things, parties and balls/dances being top 1 and top 2 respectively.
I'm a small girl you won't probably notice in a crowd. On top of that, I'm a natural klutz, the holder of a seemingly record-breaking list of misplaced items, an amateur anything, and an over-thinker who oftentimes lets her head rule her heart.
I'm still normal okay, don't get me wrong. haha... I'm a kid at heart who is easily pleased with simple things. One who carries a pinch of optimism, a tinkling of charm, and loads of laughs. I'm still trying to find my place in this vast expanse, but I'm having tons of fun along the way.
I'll find that light someday, I'm sure! But for now, I'll slow things down a bit and enjoy the ride.
My life's not the most spectacular thing that you'll come across, but it's worth a look :)
my a-z
A aqua
B baking, books, broadway
C Canon 50D
D dancing, David Archuleta, DLSU, doodles, DS Lite
E E71, elephants
F fencing (foil), Filipina, Freeway
G GLEEk
H HTML/CSS
I -
J June 10
K Kamiseta, Kostka QC
L Latter-day Saint (Mormon), lime green
M Malteasers
N Nancy Drew, necklaces
O OC
P pasta, piano, Psychology major
Q Quezon City
R -
S See's Rum Nougat, shrimp, singing (theatrical amateur), single, sour candies, spicy food, Stitch
T taekwondo black belt, traveling, Trumpets Playshopper, turtles
U -
V -
W Walt Disney, Warheads, Wicked (the musical), white thick-rimmed glasses
X
Y -
Z Zours
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Thursday, April 24, 2008, 10:56 PM
I did pretty well in training yesterday. I was sooo happy to hear the words "Yan ang lunge! Kahit ako matatakot kung ganyan ang lunge mo." from Coach Ramil. Finally! I'm starting to get those lunges. I woke up this morning with super sore legs though. It feels like my legs would shatter into pieces any time, but it feels good knowing that all the hurting means I've stretched my legs to their limit. At least my legs are a wee bit stronger now. PAIN IS MY FRIEND! haha...
I'm so bored and I have nothing to blog about. I might even be sleeping in a while. I'm violating the late to bed late to rise rule of summer. haha... Labels: fencing
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Jenn A.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008, 12:16 PM
My body still hurts from training last Monday... I'm sore all over, not just my legs now. I think I did a little better though, konti lang naman. And I was really happy because Joyce, Gazel, and Michael started training too! Too bad Ross wasn't there. I'm hoping the five of us (or more!) will train later at 3.
Anyway, my luck hasn't changed one bit since Saturday. I'm still under a lot of bad luck, but I did find my necklace though (the one I lost in my previous entry). I'm not mentioning everything that's been happening to me since Saturday anymore, you might not hear the end of it.
So I failed OBLICON. I didn't cry about it anymore because I knew it was coming. My GPA for that term is 1.750 only, which pulled my CGPA of 2.333 down to 2.263. It's not as big as my 2.640 to 2.307 shift though, so I think I'll get by... My grades just keep getting lower and lower, and to think I almost made it to Dean's List before... I guess I'm the only one who can answer "what's happening to me?". I have a pretty sure answer, and I'm not liking it at all. I have to pull my grades up next term...
My mom. Umagang-umaga pa lang sinisigawan na ako. WTH. It's times like these that I wish I were in the dorm where that irritating nag tone is miles away.
Then there's my dad. I mentioned in my previous entry about him being open to my driving to school thing, but just yesterday, he took it back ans told me to stay in the dorm. All these fantasies of me driving down Taft Avenue were forced to exit by these little clouds of anger - namely WTH, ButYouSaid, SlamTheDoor, IWishYouStuckToYourWord, and SilentTreatment to name a few. But what did I say? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nor did I do anything that could have shown how pissed I was to hear that from a man who practically controls my life. I want to shout all this out, but I can't... I can't cry it all out either. My dad had put so many restrictions on me EVER SINCE I DISCOVERED MAKING DECISIONS, and now I think the past I let go of is racing through my mind once again because of the car thing... Gahh... I'll stop here, baka kung ano pa masabi ko tungkol sa tatay ko eh...
Thank goodness I have my brothers to talk to. Sure they're not perfect little angels, but I know I could always run to them if something's up. I have our maid, Ate Tess, to talk to too. She's one of the first people who I talk to when I have problems with my parents.
All I want to do right now is see my teammates and coaches. They never fail to make me feel better by just being there. I want to see my friends and leaders in Young Women too. I'm done playing this bad luck game. Can it end now please? Tama na...
Labels: erase from memory
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Jenn A.
Saturday, April 19, 2008, 12:36 AM
It's 12:12 in the morning, and still, I'm sooo overwhelmed by all the bad luck I had yesterday. *rolls eyes* THIS SUCKS BIG TIME.
I've searched the whole house for my fencing shirt with the "En Garde, Pret, Allez" on it, but I still couldn't find it. I'm sure it isn't in the dorm, I've checked my small room twice. Wala talaga. Kathy has a lot more of them though, so I could always buy another one. This is the least of my concerns.
Next there's this super cute necklace I bought online. It arrived just last Monday, and already it's lost. I remember putting it in my cabinet after trying it on, but when I looked for it a while ago, I wasn't there. WHAT THE THE HECK'S UP WITH THAT?! What a lousy time for it to get lost...
Then there's my favorite Nancy Drew book, The Secret of Shadow Ranch (book 5). As I remember it, our maid borrowed that book. She was out a while ago, so I went to get it from her room myself. I found a Nancy Drew book under her bed all right, but it wasn't book 5 - it was book 1. I was like "HA?!", so I asked her when she got back to the house and she said that book 1 was the one she had all along. WHAT?! Okay here's the thing. I remember going in her room, seeing book five there, and her asking if she could borrow it. I remember being hesitant because I haven't read the last few pages yet, but I allowed her anyway. I'M SURE OF THAT because it's my favorite book, and especially because It's Nancy Drew. And now I find out that book 5's missing?! IT'S MY FAVORITE PA NAMAN. *hits bed with fencing blade*
Then there's the Ultra thing. I've sooo been looking forward to Friday because I'd be training as a foilist for the second time. Last Tuesday, Coach Ramil said the next time he'd train us in Ultra is Friday, so I went to Ultra yesterday all excited about training. I was 30 minutes late for training because of the traffic, but Coach Ramil wasn't there when I got to Ultra. I sent him a text message asking if he was coming. HE SAID HE WASN'T. Syempre wala akong magagawa diba, andun na ako eh. I SHOULD HAVE GONE DIRECTLY TO MEGAMALL NA LANG TO SEE THE CAR SHOW. Sayang oras eh... I trained anyway, but just a little footworks and bladeworks. Oh well, Monday na lang ulit...
There's been... Err... Some good things about today too, but I'm just too fixated on the bad things, sorry.
And I did get to see that car show in Megamall with my Dad, Mom, and Lester. I'll blog about it and post pictures some other time when I've calmed down...
Oh and would you look at that, I found out just now (as in this second) that I failed OBLICON. Yey *rolls eyes and hits OBLICON book with both foil and sabre blades*... WOW. GOOD MORNING JENN.
Labels: erase from memory
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Jenn A.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008, 11:57 AM
I had a great day in Ultra today. Coach Ramil gave me a 1 on 1 lesson on how to engage, disengage, and beat attack as a foilist. I was really tired after and my legs were shaking, but I enjoyed it a lot! Thank you po Coach Ramil! I'm actually looking forward to the next lesson. heehee... Not only that, I found out that he's not leaving us yet. He told me that he signed a contract with La Salle to be our coach for a whole year, which means we won't have to worry about losing him any time soon. Yeah!
There were quite a lot who trained today too. Ross, David, CO, Shio, Jec, Francis, Gaby, Bequa, Nicky James, Robin, Wacks, and Lawrence were there. The four newbies went home right after training, but the rest of us stayed to watch the Men's Sabre and Women's Epee opens. Before the opens, we just sat there and, well, talked. I missed that a lot. I haven't seen that ever since the last UAAP ended. It was really nice hearing Coach Al's jokes, seeing Coach Galo's wild impersonations, and especially listening to the cheery laughter of the team again. I wish there were more of us though.
But there's a common belief among Filipino folk that makes me worry a lot. They say that a really bad day would come closely after a really good one or vice-versa. That's what worries me.
Tomorrow's course card distribution day in La Salle, and to tell you that truth, I've never been more afraid of this day in my whole stay in DLSU. As I mentioned in my previous entries, this term's been a living nightmare for me. I have two things to worry about - getting a 0.0 in OBLICON and a a grade lower than 2.5 in KASPIL2. I need a 2.5 to cover for my accumulation during my first take...
I need a miracle. Please grant it to me, just this once...
Labels: fencing
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Jenn A.
Monday, April 14, 2008, 12:44 AM
Arik forgot his iPod in my house, and since I my laptop's broken (again), I used his iPod as my source of music. I put the songs on shuffle, and a song from Avenue Q, Everyone's a Little Bit Racist, came up. It was a hilarious song! haha... I was so pleased with it that I downloaded all the whole soundtrack.
This one song from the musical got stuck in my head - There's a Fine, Fine Line.
There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb
There's a fine, fine line between love And a waste of time
There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie And there's a fine, fine line between "you're wonderful" and "goodbye" I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime But there's a fine, fine line between love And a waste of your time
And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore I don't think that you even know what you're looking for For my own sanity, I've got to close the door And walk away Oh
There's a fine, fine line between together and not And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime
There's a fine, fine line between love And a waste of time
It's not that I can relate to it or something, I just like it. haha... I haven't seen it yet, but I think I'll enjoy it a lot. I want to watch it!
Anyway, I went to the derma today and turns out I have... Err something, I fogot... That causes my skin to dry a lot. I was given 3 medicines to put on my face. Hassle. And she injected something in the thing (I forgot the term) on my left arm that I've had for almost a year now. I hate needles.
Now I'm just bored. I sooo wanted to go to Ultra to train. It sucks being at home with a broken laptop, nothing to watch, and nothing to do. I'm using my brother's laptop right now, and he wants it back already. Boo. Now what?
Labels: boredom
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Jenn A.
Saturday, April 12, 2008, 5:55 PM
I was particularly excited about training in Ultra today because it would mark the day I started training as a foilist. I actually enjoyed using the touche pads using Arubayat, RG Sta. Maria's allstar foil (by the way, thanks for letting me borrow it RG). I'm super happy I'm a foilist now, you don't know half of it. I will miss the sabre people a lot though.
Anyway, it was just me, David, and Nicky James (newbie) who trained a while ago. David was given lessons by Coach Galo, Coach Al taught Nicky how to lunge, and Coach Galo taught me how to use a foil and left me with the touche pads. Coach Galo's younger brother started using the touche pads too after a while. HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE COACH GALO! As in copy-paste! hahahahaha!
After training, me, David, and Nicky went to Autocamp to look at the 2nd hand cars. My dad met up with us there to look around as well. The cars looked so nice, especially the BMWs and the two other sports cars. I want the BMW sports car though, but it's 2.1 million. haha...
My dad and I went to Toyota after to get a price list and look at the new Corolla. I like the old one better. The new Vios was cute too, but my Dad said it looked cheap. haha... I like the Red Vios though, I think it's nice.
We passed by Club 650 after Toyota. He bought a pair of Donic table tennis shoes for himself, and a few fencing things for me. He told me after seeing the prices and the quality the cars, he'd rather buy a 2nd had Camry from Autocamp than a brand new Vios. I have a strong feeling my dad's going to buy an Altis from Autocamp though. It's cheap (400,000 - 500,000 +), and as my dad said, "di ka manghihinayang pag nabangga". It's okay though, as long as I have a car! haha!
The reason why I want a car in the first place isn't merely for the sake of having one. I want to go home from school everyday without having to deal with the pollution and huge, rude crowd in the LRTs and MRTs. For the longest time, my dad wouldn't let me drive to Taft because he was too afraid I'd bump my car or something. But today, it seemed that he was open about the idea of me driving to school already. Looked like I was gonna get away with it, I think he's gonna let me. heehee... Sure, life in the dorm is fun, but I wouldn't mind the hassle if I knew that I'd be awaiting a delicious home-cooked meal everyday. I'd trade my 5-7 minute walk from the dorm to school with a 2-hour trip from home anytime, seriously. As long as I go home. I don't think I'm ready to detach myself from home just yet.
Anyway, I'm getting hungry. I'll eat now. haha...
Labels: family, fencing
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Jenn A.
Friday, April 11, 2008, 2:18 PM
Summer started at 10:00 last Thursday, FINALLY!
This term had been the absolute worst one for me. I'd rather not talk about it or my final exams. It's much better thinking of my agenda for this summer. haha...
Of course, I'll miss the people I've gotten to know over the term. In BUSORGA, there's Cali Malabanan, Gem Remo, and Jat Yap (who are all a batch lower). In OBLICON (my favorite *rolls eyes* subject), there's Jim (I forgot his last name). Kitten, Cali, and Gem were in the same class too. In KASPIL2, there's Paolo (I forgot his last name too), Raizza Ang, Jenn Ngo, Kelvin Ramirez, Hannah Ho, Ana Buenviaje, Therese Sarmiento, and Martin (I forgot his last name also). Names are according to our seat plan. haha... Oh and Marc was there too. KASPIL2 was fun because of my groupmates, NOT because of my professor na may HD kay Marc. LOL! In PHILOPE, there's Charlene (something) and Kaoru (something din). Many of my blockmates and POLSCI friends were in the same class too, so I didn't feel like such a stranger in this class.
Like I said earlier, this term was a really bad one for me. If it weren't for these great people, I would have been living in hell for one term if it weren't for them. THANKS SO MUCH GUYS! You don't know how grateful I am that I crossed paths with each of you.
Okay enough of that. My agenda this summer? - fencing training (as a foilist!)
- driving school (and go car hunting with my daddy)
- youth conference (as a committee member hopefully)
- Baguio with my family!
- watch the women's interclub in Megamall
- probably hit the beach
There. haha... It's gonna be a busy summer, but I'm sure I'll enjoy it nonetheless. I have just three weeks time off from school, but hey, it's still summer right? YEEEEEAAAH!!! Oh and I met SG already. heehee... <3 :D Labels: school
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Jenn A.
Saturday, April 05, 2008, 2:02 AM
The Bottom Line Just when you'd about given up hope for someone, they'll come through for you today.
In Detail Just when you thought you had given up hope that that certain someone would ever notice you, today brings some promising attention. Maybe you've been waiting for your boss to praise all of your hard work. Maybe you've been hoping that the teacher would see how involved you been in discussions. Perhaps you're wondering when on earth that cutie will give you the time of day. Whoever has been testing your patience will finally come to their senses and see you for who you are, today.
Please, please, please let this be right. Especially the one about the teacher seeing my effort in discussions and... Okay... The cutie actually realizing my existence. haha just kidding.
Anyway, I had visitors yesterday. Alliv, Arik, Camille, and Jenner came over to visit me. haha... They arrived at around 10 and left at 12 something. Bonding in my house! Wee! It was fun taking pics with everyone and catching up with with what's been going on.
I found out a lot yesterday from each of them, and I can't begin to express how happy I was when I heard. On top this, I found it super sweet of them to go all the way from Taft to my house in Katipunan just so we'd get to hang out as a barkada. I'm glad they liked my house, I hope next time would be a sleep over. heehee... Thanks for this unplanned visit Cab (FX and jeep na rin ba?) Hailers! I love you guys!
I'm feeling so sabaw today and I'm sleepy, so sorry for the next things you'll read. Madaldal ako pag inaantok ako, promise. You can stop now if you want to. haha...
Yesterday, I was in Megamall with my mom. We always walk by the skating rink, but never once have we stopped to watch the skaters. Yesterday, however, we had this crazy idea to stop and watch them. As I was watching, a little girl at about 5 or 6 years of age skated by me. I remembered how my dad encouraged me to take ice skating lessons when I was about the little girl's age. You know what? I regret saying no each time he asked me. I could have probably been a great skater.
My mom and I went to Shangri-La after. I entered the mall with a head full of fond memories in that mall, especially those of my days in Trumpets. I haven't been there in a long time, so that could have been the reason why I started reminiscing all of a sudden. Nothing beat the feeling of singing to my heart's content. Again, I was overcome with regret. Had I continued my plan to stick with Trumpets, I could have probably been a great performer.
Now where am I? In a state of frustration. I'll never know if I could have been great in skating or performing, all because it was my own choice to turn my back on the opportunities right in front of me. I could try to undo this, but it might just be a few years too late.
But on the other side of regret lies another story. Regret may have left me frustrated, but on the other hand, I've made a lot of unexpected turns along my way that may have meant more than taking the path directed to me.
I may not be a great skater or performer right now, but I have discovered a love for sports. Turning down more lessons in Trumpets meant concentration on Taekwondo and Karate during my High School years, I even got up to high Brown belt and won a lot of gold and silver medals and a trophy for first place. I was not only given the chance to represent my school, but also meet a lot of great people in RBMAC. As to skating, I don't quite know what the trade-off would have been because I still think I should have taken those lessons. haha... But I'm sure there's a good reason why the little voice in my heart has led me to where I am now.
Regret does have its little blessings in disguise. It just takes a positive mind to realize that regret is nonsense, nonsense in the sense that we keep fretting about it so much without seeing the better things it has brought about. In the end, we'll realize there really is nothing to regret.
I think to much don't I? haha...
I'm gonna sleep now. Daddy's officemates are coming over tomorrow at 9:30 in the morning to install the new router! Yay! Good night!
Labels: friends, horoscopes
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Jenn A.
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the life list
Here's a list of things I want to do with my life. Hopefully, I'll be able to make most of these happen. I'll add more things as I come up with ideas.
43 Things
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