from me to you
Hey there!
Welcome to the tiny place in cyberspace of a girl who blogs her blues away. And well, maybe out of boredom as well.
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the wallflower
Wallflower (wall·flow·er)
Definition
- One who does not participate in the activity at a social event because of shyness or unpopularity.
- A lady at a ball, who, either from choice, or because not asked to dance, remains a spectator.
As the term suggests, I shy away from a lot of things, parties and balls/dances being top 1 and top 2 respectively.
I'm a small girl you won't probably notice in a crowd. On top of that, I'm a natural klutz, the holder of a seemingly record-breaking list of misplaced items, an amateur anything, and an over-thinker who oftentimes lets her head rule her heart.
I'm still normal okay, don't get me wrong. haha... I'm a kid at heart who is easily pleased with simple things. One who carries a pinch of optimism, a tinkling of charm, and loads of laughs. I'm still trying to find my place in this vast expanse, but I'm having tons of fun along the way.
I'll find that light someday, I'm sure! But for now, I'll slow things down a bit and enjoy the ride.
My life's not the most spectacular thing that you'll come across, but it's worth a look :)
my a-z
A aqua
B baking, books, broadway
C Canon 50D
D dancing, David Archuleta, DLSU, doodles, DS Lite
E E71, elephants
F fencing (foil), Filipina, Freeway
G GLEEk
H HTML/CSS
I -
J June 10
K Kamiseta, Kostka QC
L Latter-day Saint (Mormon), lime green
M Malteasers
N Nancy Drew, necklaces
O OC
P pasta, piano, Psychology major
Q Quezon City
R -
S See's Rum Nougat, shrimp, singing (theatrical amateur), single, sour candies, spicy food, Stitch
T taekwondo black belt, traveling, Trumpets Playshopper, turtles
U -
V -
W Walt Disney, Warheads, Wicked (the musical), white thick-rimmed glasses
X
Y -
Z Zours
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Tuesday, December 30, 2008, 2:12 AM
Dear *Canon,
I want to bury you in my memories so I can finally move on and say you're a thing of the past, but unfortunately, that seems impossible at this point. What twisted spell have you cast on me to make me like you this much? It's been more than a year - one hopeless year. As David Archuleta's song goes, "I really don't know what to do, I'm just a little too not over you".
I think I know what's going on now. You had my heart all along, that's why it saw nothing but you. That's why I can't get over you. I locked my mind's door before you even had the chance to return it to me. This time, I'll accept that my heart is with you. I won't deny that I do like you. I won't push you away from my mind anymore, because I figured that the more I try to get rid of you, the more you'll keep coming back to try and return what you currently hold. Am I right? It'll be hard for me to move on if you keep coming back. I left the door unlocked for you so that the next time you drop by, you won't have to come back and try again... Just leave it anywhere I can easily find it, you're welcome to come in any time.
Just return it soon okay? I want my heart back. Don't forget.
***
Dear *Sherlock,What have you done? Oh boy, what have you done? You do -- err, something -- and suddenly turn everything into one huge guessing game. For your sake and mine as well, I won't put what this something is here. 3 people know, and I'm sorry if you would have rather not let anyone know, but guessing games leave me insane. Well, not as much as Math does though. haha... Anyhoo, I don't know what to do about what these people advised me because I'm lacking one other crucial thing - a clear signal from you. Well, you could be sending out something, but I'm not sure if that's exactly what you're trying to tell me. I'm not sure if there is something. It's just too good to be true, that's all. Why? With all these -- restrictions? (gosh, it's hard to cover things up) -- it's certainly something I'd rather avoid... You make it very difficult for me to do, oftentimes making me feel that I want to forget these restrictions. A friend of ours once asked me if I was happy liking you this much. I answered that it wasn't the happiness I was concerned about, it was more of what's supposed to be. As much as I'd like to simply forget or do away with these "restrictions", I can't. I can't put my reasons why here either, otherwise it would be too obvious to tell who you are, *Sherlock. I can tell you that these are things I deem silly, but somehow necessary. Oh gosh it's so hard not to write down exactly what I mean. On the other hand, I have all the reasons I need to like you. It's bothersome that I have to restrain myself from falling completely, but I have to do it anyway. Why? I'm sorry again, but those reasons are between me and my 3 confidantes. I like you and all, but I need to feel around first if you are going to be another repeat of "history", if you get what I mean. I don't how to organize this letter actually. Sort of like how confusing things are between us right now. So what exactly is going on? Please tell me for I don't know. Only you can tell me. Again, what have you done? Oooh boy. ***
Oh myyy sleeping in the wee hours of the morning does WONDERS for me. I really need to fix my body clock ASAP. haha! Nakakaloka :)) Labels: erase from memory
0 comments
Jenn A.
Monday, December 29, 2008, 6:23 PM
So after long last, I'm back. How's it been? Well, some story. It's my plurk account that's been getting the juice on what's really been going on in my life right now. I'm skipping all that and going straight to how my vacation's been. I know I've been looking forward to the Christmas break, but by how things have been, this season's been one to hate. So here's why I want to fast forward to January 7 so I can go back to school: 11. I don't feel Chirstmas. I can't explain it, but I just don't. 10. Selfish as it may sound, my weekly allowance is bigger than the money my parents gave me for Christmas. SELFISH, I KNOW. But I'm pretty pissed right now, so I might be saying this only because of that. 9. My sprain in sprained again. It was bad enough for it to be sprained once and even stepped on by a little kid at Church, but for it to have happened a second time is too much. I still can't walk properly nor can I train. This sucks. 8. I've been having really bad nightmares. REALLY bad ones. 4 times have I woken up panting and crying. I even fell off the couch during one of my naps. It was my sprained foot that broke my fall too, so you can just imagine how the pain overwhelmed me. I can't recall exactly what happened, and I don't want to find out anymore. 7. No more family getaways. Tita Alma and Tito Ef always organize our New Year family getaways with Tito Abring, Tita Espie, and Kuya Ammiel, Ate Aiah, and Iza (the de Leon family). This year, however, they ALL migrated to the States. Yes, all of them. That leaves just our family here in the Philippines. These trips have always been the highlight of my Christmas vacation, and without them, New Year's just a drag. Now what? 6. I miss my teammates, especially Rhiell and Bryan... As the days in our vacation rack up, I find it harder and harder not to see them everyday as we do after school hours. Yes, there's training, but I can't train because of my sprain. Most of them are out with their families too, so I doubt they'll be able to train for the remainder of the term break. 5. I wasn't able to go to Coach Ramil's wedding. Why? Because of the stupid, illogical reasons my dad gave me. I don't want to expound on his lame excuses not to let me go, but I'll share with you the WINNER of his numerous reasons. "You spend too much time fencing. You're supposed to be resting." WTH. It's a wedding I'm going to, NOT TRAINING, excuse him. I might have understood if he said it was too far (it was in Subic and I'm here in Katipunan), but he didn't even say it. Instead, he goes telling me that I spend too much time fencing. Stupid. 4. My family went to Subic on the day of Coach Ramil's wedding. It was a mixture of hate, grief and sarcasm when I found out where they were. They didn't let me go to Subic but they went?! Oh come on! It doesn't end there. They didn't even bother waking me up! And I thought my dad thought was a good excuse was the winner, but wait - there's more! *rolls eyes* This is it - the WINNER. Oh joy. 3. The idiot I addressed in THIS ENTRY is bugging me - AGAIN. I seriously want to type this in all caps because I can throw a whole car at him to show how mad I really am, but for our eyes' sake, I won't. So what happened? This happened just yesterday. It was time for our family's annual tithing settlement at Church. While meeting with our Bishop, an unknown number calls me, but I don't answer given that I am in an important meeting and I don't know the person anyway. The number calls again a second time, so I go out of the room because it might be important. BUT NO, it isn't important and I shouldn't have answered it. It was that stupid, cheap, disturbing, "all-knowing" *insert every bad ajective here* idiot on the other line. I just said "tithing settlement, wait lang" and put down the phone. It wasn't a lie anyway. But then the guy calls me 3 more times and I just let the phone ring, and in his succeeding attempts to get me to answer, I rejected his calls. BUT rejecting the calls still didn't work! So I turned off my phone 'til we left Church. THAT WAS JUST PLAIN ANNOYING. I turned on my phone again when we got home and saw that I had a text message from the idiot. It said: "Mery chrismas....Guz2 lng aman ktng mkausp my ta2nng lng aq,sn mn mpatwad m aq nd q man kc intncion gwin un,nd qlang kyng sbhn sau ng hrpan ung nra2mdmn q sau."
Dumugo ilong ko kakatype nun ah. I stick with my words in the entry I dedicated to you, and now you've only made things worse by what you did yesterday. Congratulations, you are officially THE biggest loser I know. I meant it when I said leave me alone in my past entry. In fact, I'm kinda regretting I didn't say it to your face. I'll say it again, and this time I hope it sticks to your demented mind. LEAVE ME ALONE. GET LOST. GET OUT OF MY LIFE. I might forgive you if you do. OKAY ENOUGH. I'm becoming mean again. Moving on... 2. I wish Gazel were here. Need I say more? Can father time please let one year be over now so she can come back from Italy? :'c 1. I miss my best friend, Alliv. She left for New Zealand last December 10 along with her mom, brother, and sister. It's the first Christmas we've been apart since we became friends - I HATE IT. Though the conference me, Alliv, Shio, and CO had was comforting, it's so much better knowing that Alliv's just a taxi ride away. She's miles away from where I am right now, and now, I'm stuck waiting for who knows how long to get a hug from the one person who has always known how to make every single pain go away... *sobs* I just miss her so much... This is just too much for me to handle. Many people have entered and stayed in my life, but now, it seems that I'm losing them one by one in some way... AND I'M BECOMING EMO DAMN IT. I hate how this is all happening, and above all, it happens on Christmas. Merry Christmas indeed. Labels: erase from memory
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Jenn A.
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the life list
Here's a list of things I want to do with my life. Hopefully, I'll be able to make most of these happen. I'll add more things as I come up with ideas.
43 Things
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