SSB = Single Since Birth
NBSB = No Boyfriend Since Birth
TIIS = T.I. (sorry, bad words) I'm Single

Are you one of us?

It never was like me to blog about my love life. Sure, I'd tell people about it if they'd ask, but I'd leave it at that. Just a few minutes ago, I was reading my best friend's blog. By the looks of it, typing what she felt took a load off her chest, so I thought "hey, this might be fun".

I don't know if this is the effect of listening to too much depressing love songs or watching the video "Because I'm A Girl" by Kiss, but I'm going to do something I've never done in a long time (or at all) - blog about my feelings.

Mind you, this entry is spontaneous. I'm going to type the first thing that comes into my mind.

Okay, here goes.

I found this while looking through all the unpublished entries in my account. It was made 11/28/07. Have a look:

*start*

THEM: "Anong nakita mo sa kanya?!"
ME: "Hindi ko alam eh. I wish I knew."

It's kinda funny actually - how I'd flash a silly grin each time I'm asked that and still don't know what to answer.

It's weird how I'd like someone who was the total opposite of someone I'd consider my ideal guy. Come to think of it, what did I see in him?

I'm sure it was nothing physical - 100% sure (Have you seen droopy? Yes, the dog.) of that. He's a gentleman, but so is every other guy I'm close to. He's a great ************ (sorry, it'd be super obvious if I put it here), but like one of our coaches said, I am rin naman ah. ****** is a great ************ too (man I'm sick of all these asterisks), but it never even crossed my mind to see him as crush material (at least not to me).

Truth is, I really wish I knew why I'm so attracted to this guy. I oftentimes always make fun of him (bad Jenn) and try to oversee the good in him, but it doesn't seem to work. Instead, I find myself scribbling drawings of him in my notebooks, anticipating the next time I'd see him again, and worse, putting things like "even if you don't have the most captivating smile, the most promising eyes, or a winning smile, I'D STILL LIKE YOU ANYWAY" in my planner.

I don't wanna get all cheezy (big no no), so I'll stop now. haha...

Funny noh? Haaay puppy like talaga.

*end*

I can't believe how silly things things like that change in as short as two month's time. I haven't been making such a fuss about his looks or the way he talks, I've gotten over my suspicions of him being gay, I've been referring to him by his real name (not nener anymore), and I've actually been owning up to the fact that I like him. Things have started to get so much better between us lately too, and I mean so much better.

However, it's at this point that I've got to remember the one thing I've always held true - hindi kami bagay. I mean it when I say he's being nice because we're friends. Seryoso, wala lang talaga yun. He really is a nice guy. I'm happy that we're friends and all, but I never hoped for anything more than that. When asked about what I'd do if he courted me, I'd always answer no. Why? We're from two separate worlds. And DUH, as if naman mangyayari yun diba?! Feeble possibilities are dangerous things which are not meant to be pondered on. You might hurt yourself.

But hey, I never said I wish it wouldn't happen though.

Honestly, I want to go on and on, but there are things that I can't manage to spit out. Or maybe it's just because I'm sleepy.

Anyway.

I think know I'm gonna regret making this entry one day. If you're not my best friend, please do not remind me that I made this. I feel embarrassed as is just typing all this nonsense.